Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This is the All1Nerds podcast, where we are bridging the gap between the stethoscope and the soul and getting back to the human side of healthcare.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: Powered by Riverside.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: Welcome back to another impactful episode of the All One Nurse podcast, where I'm your host, Nurse Chanel. Today I have another excellent guest speaker, Ms. Terry D'Aragon. She is a registered nurse with 18 years of experience, founder of Awaken the Lioness Spirit, which is a non profit, and she's a certified nurse coach with a specialty in trauma. Welcome, Ms. Terry.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: Thank you, Chanel, for having me be here. I'm truly honored.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Yes. How are you today?
[00:01:05] Speaker B: I'm good. How about you?
Loving Tall in Colorado? Loving it.
[00:01:11] Speaker A: Yes.
Well, as always, I ask my listener to go ahead and open up your heart to receive this impactful information as we dive into Ms. Terry's professional journey, which is. Which includes her background story, personal insights, patient perspective, and of course, her educational insights, which today we're going to focus on trauma. And I'm so excited because if you have listened to my previous episode of all one nurse podcasting, you would have heard me speak with Dr. Latoria Bolin on all things mental health and regarding mental health care and normalizing mental illness so that people will be more likely to seek support and seek care from healthcare professionals. So welcome, welcome, welcome, Ms. Terri. And getting right into it.
Tell us about you. What's your background story?
[00:02:07] Speaker B: My background story is I'm a Colorado Native. I'll be 52. I'm 52 years young. Well, 52 in March. And I've lived here my whole life, um, except for a year and a half that I was away in Idaho when I was doing some travel nursing. But I love it here. I love the mountains. Um, I love Denver Bronco football. I love just living in a place that we get all four seasons. And I have all my family here, Love camping, love doing bonfires and fishing. Reminds me of my dad. And. Yeah, I love being here.
[00:02:40] Speaker A: I bet it's beautiful. Have the leaves already started to change? Yeah, man.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:46] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: We're kind of like going east is the. It's like flatland. And then you just hit the skyline of the Rocky Mountains. And so every day I get to drive. I just see the entire skyline of the Rocky Mountains, and it's just like a portrait, and there's just nothing like it. So when I come home, I. And when I'm here every single day, I just feel so grateful just to see it. It's just amazing.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Oh, that sounds Beautiful. Yeah, I'm getting a little jealous. That sounds very beautiful, to be honest.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Now tell us about your professional journey. How did you end up in nursing?
[00:03:25] Speaker B: So, my professional journey to nursing. I am a mother of four amazing boys, and I. I was. I was a teenage mom, and so I just didn't know what I was going to do. I was raising kids, and my school journey was really slow. I was going part time forever and actually really wanted to get into the prison system. Which is really funny because it leads back to my story with my nonprofit. And I prayed one day and just said, God, what is it that you want me to do besides have babies? And lo and behold, he answered. He answered nursing. And nursing was not ever something I wanted to do. And so, crazy story is, at the time, I was raising my kids and worked part time, but I was a waitress. And the place that I was a waitress at, there was two girls who had just started the nursing program, and they told me everything I needed to do to go check it out and just get some information.
And I did and got on the wait list and joined the program. And 18 year late, years later, here I am. But it's really funny because, Chanel, when you ask that, I went into nursing and so many times just said I didn't know if I was meant to be a nurse. And then there was an aha moment, probably three years in, and a patient looked at me and just said, you really love what you do, don't you? And I love nursing. I've done so much of it in different areas.
And then I went through a really challenging time in my life, ended up in divorce. And during that time, I found a love for trauma. And the love for trauma came through my own personal journey. And 18 years later, I finally feel like I know what I'm going to do when I grow up.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: That is awesome. Now, before we get deep, what nursing program did you attend? Did you get your bachelorette or associate's first?
[00:05:24] Speaker B: So I actually started, and that's a funny thing, because I started in the nursing program at Front Range Community College, which is a school here that is nationally recognized for its nursing program, has always been one of the elite programs here. At the time, they only did the ADN program. Now they've partnered with a local college where you can stay there and bridge into the BSN program. I started as an associate degree nurse, and then I never thought I would ever go back to school to finish my nursing degree. And currently I'm in that right now. We'll graduate Next summer with my bsn, and then I'll continue right in and then working on my NP for psych.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: Yes. Well, congrats.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: Yeah. And I'm with Purdue Global right now with that program.
[00:06:15] Speaker A: So you're like in nursing school now. So what would you say your biggest challenge is?
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Definitely making sure that I'm scheduling all of my studies. So I've gotten very used to living by my schedule. And actually one of the things that I've incorporated into my schedule is making sure that I have all of my coursework done and everything done by Saturday evening or most of it, so that I can take one day off, which is Sundays for me. And I don't do any studies. I don't do anything. It's kind of like church day and family. And that is how I kind of refuel myself to begin the week. But I always do a little bit every single day. I have to do that so that I stay ahead of it and it doesn't feel overwhelming. Yes.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Well, thank you for making time for me on this beautiful Sunday.
[00:07:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm glad I could.
[00:07:05] Speaker A: So with that, what would you say your biggest motivation is? And I guess I would know the answer to. With you mentioning that, you know, you feel like, you know what you're doing now with trauma. So tell us a little bit about that. How did you end up getting into. Because you mentioned the prison. Prison ministry as well. So tell us a little bit about that. How did we get on this road to trauma?
[00:07:27] Speaker B: Yeah, so it was actually 19.
It actually started happening a few years before that. But I started just feeling some discontentment within my spirit. And to be honest with you, up until this point, I was really struggling in my own life with my own, with my personal relationship. It was discontentment in all of my relationships. And this was personal relationships, relationships with my then husband and my kids, my family, siblings, even co workers. I was really struggling relationally and really had some. I. I was really very reactive and it was really beginning to hurt me personally. Life became very hard, but a lot of that life became very hard because of my own personal decisions and my own behavior. So the reality was that I could blame the world, but I had to really figure out me.
And it began to happen when I started. My husband and I went through a separation in September of 2019 and I really was questioning my whole life existence. I was very confused and didn't know how I had gotten into this place. And so I began really pouring myself into the church. I joined a 12 step recovery group and really more Working. Worked on the mental health part. And I just want to put a plug into your listeners here that if anybody has ever heard of a 12 step recovery program, a lot of people think that it's only substance abuse. And it's not. It is a very small percentage of that. And a lot of it is relational issues and emotional things.
Substance abuse is just a piece of it, but it's not the root. So there's. It's such a bigger thing. And so I found myself in this relational recovery group through my church and then just really pouring myself into our prison ministry. And at the time it was called God Behind Bars. And I started serving on Sunday nights at our local Denver Women's Correctional Facility. And it was there on a Sunday night, one. One evening, and I heard women cry for help. And we began to talk about it and I looked at them and I, I felt like I was looking in the mirror to exactly the person I was. We had faced the same struggles, um, but mentally, we had faced so many traumatic experiences together. And then, you know, I'll just tell you that in my early 20s, I got a DUI and spent a night in jail. And it was way back then that I had to make a decision to change my life. And this was way before nursing school, and that followed me. But, you know, I, I sit there and think today that it was God's grace at one point that said that just profoundly shared with me that this was the life he had kept me from. And so I just found a passion for serving these women.
And I went on my own personal journey of mental health and mental health. I had gotten to a degree of mental health that I had never been to in my life, struggling with major panic attacks. And I had to figure out what was going on with, with me. And so it was much deeper than. There was so much going on that I didn't realize it was trauma. And to be quite honest with you, Chanel, I had a family and parents both in my life, and I didn't think I had any right to say it was trauma. And looking back.
[00:11:08] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: Looking back, yeah. I had two parents that divorced very young. When I was. It began before I was in first grade.
They were having their challenges. So it was all through my, my young childhood years.
And the mom that wasn't emotionally present, she was going through her own challenges with mental health and going through divorce. And my dad was a. Was a vet, Vietnam vet. He had his own. You know, he wouldn't say that he had ptsd and he really just never wanted to even acknowledge that that could be a possibility.
So here I was, going through all of this stuff, and I had to really find. Give myself permission to say, terri, you went through trauma. You've had trauma in your life, whether it was a catastrophic. Catastrophic event or not. My body registered so many of those early childhood years of when I didn't feel safe. My body and my. My nervous system registered that as trauma. And that's where I think so many people.
It's a fine line. And a lot of people don't want to put their self in. I had trauma because we think that it's so much more than what it really is, and it's. It's not.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: That was deep. Ms. Terry, first of all, thank you for your transparency, because we all need to hear that, and no one's exempt from trauma.
Even as Dr. Boylan mentioned in the previous episode that none of us are exempt. We are. You know, we can all be a day away from walking outside in a traumatic event happening. So I really thank you for sharing your story, because a lot of times I think we don't. We don't truly receive the information until we know how it relates to someone who has personal, personally went through it.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: And so I really thank you for sharing. I really thank you for sharing that. Yeah.
[00:13:13] Speaker B: And I think I'll just add a little bit more to that. My divorce that ended our marriage, that. That was probably the deepest valley of my life. So anyone who is out there and going through a divorce or who's ever gone through that, that is trump traumatic. That is. It may not be a physical loss, but it is a loss.
And giving myself permission to be able to grieve that loss was the catalyst for my growth. It was really what helped me dig in the trenches and really go to work on myself.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: How did you become resilient in dealing with your divorce, if we may go, you know, go that route for people who are experiencing or have experienced.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah. So the pain had gotten. And, you know, I'm going to just full transparency. Like you said, it worked both ways. You know, it takes two to be in a relationship. And so I was equally as abusive as he was with me. So it wasn't physical abuse, but it was very much mental and emotional both ways. And so the pain of that divorce, the pain of that just whole after years and years of it, just became so painful. I just couldn't go on anymore. Something had to change, and I was willing to just through a lot of prayer, through a lot of support, I. A mentorship. I had mentors in my life. And you know, I definitely had started some therapy and I was in my recovery group and I had, I was surrounded by some believers at church and I just knew that I had to ask for a separation.
And during that time, things did not turn out the way that I thought they were going to, but I surrendered that I was going to have any control over it. And I was just going to do what I felt I was being asked to do by. For me, it's my heavenly, my heavenly Father and just do what I knew he was calling me to do. And it was, it was really a challenging few years of that, but it changed my entire life.
And I would just, I would just tell anyone that's listening out there if they're, if this is a season that they're facing, that the season does end.
And I allowed the Lord to show me the things that needed to change in me. And I didn't focus on him. I really went into a season of self control and solitude with just me and God and really had to work on that relationship within myself.
And I think when I. And I not think I know when I did that, it, it has changed every relationship in my life and not just with.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: Not just in regards to being with someone on an intimate level. Right. So every time I. Relationship with your peers, your just everyone in your circle. That's awesome.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: Everyone.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: That is so awesome. So awesome. I always say when we're talking about something like this, it's like you found purpose in pain and you're using that purpose to preserve others. And so with marriages or in divorce. So for those who are married and facing difficult times, one thing that I'm hearing you mention is your faith in God and how you got closer to God and your relationship with God. And so with that, is it safe to say that with marriage, and I know I'm married myself, that keeping God at the forefront of that marriage and honestly having a relationship with God individually as well as together could preserve the marriage as well.
[00:16:53] Speaker B: Like that. That has to be, in my opinion, that really has to be the center, foundational anchor for a marriage.
Because I truly believe, and what I've learned is that he created marriage and there's a way to do it and it is with honor and respect. And. But that comes both ways.
I couldn't expect it if I couldn't give it. And that was a lot of my life. I expected this for me, but I wasn't living out that principle myself. So God really went to work that's good.
He went to work on me.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: That's good. I'm telling you. Yes. And for my listeners, I have to explain how I met Ms. Terry in the first place. And for me, and you may, if you've listened to some of my TikToks, all one nurse TikTok, then you would know, talked about investing in myself and just being a better version of Chanel, just being honest. And I had started one program called elevate academy with Dr. Darius Daniels or Pastor Darius Daniels. And I finished that and I went into the one that we just recently finished together and help me with the name of it, Ms. Terry, marketplace mandate. Marketplace, yes, marketplace, mandate. And really going into the marketplace as a Christian, right? And I just gotta say, I am just so honored because I'm, even as a wife, I am trying to find me right, and not lose myself in the marriage, not lose myself with the children because I have, I have three children total. I have a soon to be 19 year old and I have a 42 year old at the time of this episode. So it's like, how do I find Chanel? How do I be a better version of Chanel so that I am a better wife, a better mom, a better coworker and all those things and really thrive? And so I am again, so glad that we're here to talk about this just together. And you help give voice or reason to a lot of the things that we are experiencing as individuals. And just going back to our conversation because I know my listeners did not hear our initial conversation over the phone to how we even got here, but I wish we could have recorded our phone conversation because Ms. Terry, you just did a great job of just explaining trauma recovery itself. And so with that, tell us more about trauma recovery.
[00:19:36] Speaker B: So what's your goal with. Yeah, so, so trauma recovery and I, I have the great honor every week of this, this morning I was at the Denver Women's Correctional Facility and I take a trauma program in there with them and we get to learn about. First of all, I have a trauma informed certification through the Colorado Professional Development center here in Colorado. And it's a 20, 20 hour program that really focuses on the fundamental, fundamentals of trauma informed care. And this is another reason Chanel and I offline had a really strong conversation about it because it's a divine agitation, which is what we've learned together that I have gotten in the healthcare arena. And it is why I'm so passionate about it. Because quite honestly, I was a nurse, but I was also a patient in, in the, in the healthcare system. And I was really frowned upon being a nurse and then needing support with mental health. And so that it's not always been easy for us to be able to share our own mental health or trauma experiences. Um, and so a lot of times I had to shy away from that, which was worse, pushing it away and not dealing with it, because it doesn't go away. Our body remembers that. And, and it is really not the event itself that has happened. For me, it was, you know, divorce and all this stuff that has been part of my life. But it was years of childhood things that were going on that helped me create these coping mechanisms that didn't serve me as I became an adult. So it was fear.
Yeah. And things as a child that were helping me, helping me become a good, productive adult. And so as I began to do a lot more research in trauma, you know, there, there is an ACE study, and ACE actually stands for adverse childhood experiences that Kaiser Permanente did on. Did, did work on. And they actually started pinpointing, um, it was actually a weight loss, believe it or not. It was actually, it was done through Kaiser Permanente, but it was a weight loss program and people were starting to lose weight and then they were dropping out of the program and the doctor couldn't figure out why. Why are people having success and they're dropping out of the program. So they started doing, you, you can go, you can go Google ACE study and, and pull it up. It's a Kaiser. And it was, it was done. It was done. It's. There's scholarly journals and peer journals that you guys can go do.
Um, it really pinpoint a few, how childhood trauma turns into things later on in life. And so when I went through my nurse coaching program, so I did a nurse through the Nurse Coach Collective, the Nurse Nursing Board certificate, board certification, Nurse coach certification. And they started talking about, you know, healthcare sometimes has become this band aid to this band aid system where we're just kind of putting band aids on things and not really helping people long term. And when I realized as I was going through that program and really bringing that. What I learned in that program into my practice, so many of my patients were struggling when I would get curious and ask questions. So many of their experiences were leading back to trauma, and yet they were showing up in our healthcare system with autoimmune things, diabetes, cardiac things. And that is what the ACE study does. It shows how childhood trauma can later on in life, lead to a shorter life span because of unhealed trauma. And it leads to physical things, which. It's mental health. It's just not having good spiritual health. Mental health, physical health. But it leads into long term, you know, disorders and things that we see in our nursing career. So when I started asking questions of my patients and asking about, you know, just getting curious and saying, how was your relationship with your parents? You know, just kind of how we do. We have conversations with our.
Are your families local? You know what I mean? Are you having anyone come see you today? And I started to, I started to put together that trauma was so much of the reason that they were experiencing some of the physical elements that they had in their life.
And so then it's just put on this whole thing of where I just am like, I.
And I will just tell your listeners, if somebody is out there with depression and anxiety and you guys are taking medications for that, there is time for that. And I do believe that there is a time and a season that we need that. But I do believe when we go back and we listen, and I believe it for my. Because of my own experience, when I went back and dealt with the things that I didn't really know were the root problems. I am free. I don't, I don't take any medications. I have no anxiety attacks. I have not struggled with depression or anything in, in, gosh, at least six years now.
[00:24:51] Speaker A: Wow.
Wow, that is awesome. Yeah, that is awesome. And it's encouraging. Yeah, it's encouraging. Would you say that, or how would you, what would you say the first step in self awareness is for childhood trauma?
[00:25:12] Speaker B: I think, I mean.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: Well, let me reword that. So what would you say will be the first step? Like what strategies or what's.
What would you say the first step is in being self aware when it comes to your own personal trauma, like childhood trauma or just the trauma that you've been through or just assessing that, hey, I have experienced this type of trauma so that I can get to the point of healing and going forward.
[00:25:44] Speaker B: Yeah. So I will just again lead your, your listeners back to the, the ACE study because that really gave me so much freedom in my own life. Um, so two things I would say. One would be to just be aware that there's something going on. And I would have to have told myself at the time that I'm not crazy, that there is really something going on. I had to learn to listen to my body. And that's what I love about how science and healthcare are beginning to come together. Science, healthcare, and the Bible. That's what I want to say. They're starting to prove the way that our body was created. And I just had this conversation with a friend. I truly believed that God knew that we were going to need evidence.
And I truly believe he created science so that we had the evidence.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: And our body is telling us something. Our body is a communicator, and it is telling us that there is something wrong. You know, it's like the thermometer in a house. Right? Or even like let's say the check engine light on a car. When it goes on, if we ignore it, things are going to really happen bad to your car. If we don't, if we don't pay attention to it, that's trauma. If you're starting to feel things in your. In your body and behavior changes and there's something going on, so it's just to, to take a step back and say, okay, what is, what is going on here? And then ask, Ask for help. Ask for help is one of the biggest things that I can say.
Not push it down and think that we have to be, you know, tough and deal with it on our own, because there is no dealing with it on our own.
When somebody has an experience with trauma, it skews our thinking. We don't see the world the same. And so we really need that outside perspective on what's going on. But then I would just direct them to the ACEs study. Because through that ACES study, it really gives several experiences as childhood. So it could be things as physical or sexual abuse. Right. But it could also be having a verbally, emotionally abusive parent all your life, or you had to become the caregiver for a mentally ill mom who couldn't deal with a divorce, which was my experience.
And I wasn't equipped at that young age to be taking on that role. Right.
And I learned very young from my dad that when they were going through that divorce, I learned very well how to manipulate and how to get them to do things I wanted. So control became a huge issue in my life. So I think going back that ACEs study will talk about certain experiences. Emotional verbal abuse, if I was. Was a child to a mother who was abused, if I was a child of a family member being incarcerated, if I was a family, if I was a child to a family who had addictions or mental health issues. All of those are yes scores on the ACE score. So it really puts perspective into the life that you've lived and what trauma really is. So it doesn't necessarily have to be this catastrophic thing. It could be several, it could be decades of an abusive family that you, your body could never settle down and feel safe in an environment before.
[00:29:13] Speaker A: That's good. I'm glad you, you mentioned safety because of course I gotta write down some things so you can tell me if you agree with this. Trauma recovery is the process of healing from the emotional and psychological impact of traumatic experiences. It involves several stages and can vary greatly from person to person. And some stages of recovery includes there's three stages. The first one is safety and stabilization, where you want to establish a sense of safety and stability. And this might involve creating a safe environment, developing coping strategies and addressing immediate needs. The second stage is remembrance and mourning.
This stage involves processing the trauma, which can include talking about the experience, expressing emotions, and mourning any losses associated with the trauma.
And like you said, it may not be a person per se. It may be the loss of the divorce, the loss of the sense of family. Right when parents divorce. And then the third stage I have is reconnection in integration, the final stage that focuses on rebuilding a sense of self and reconnecting with others. And it says here that this might involve developing new relationships, finding meaning and in the experience, and integrating the trauma into your life story.
And this, my references for this definition of trauma recovery and stages of Recovery came from Healthline.com and Tennessee.gov and so.
[00:30:52] Speaker B: Do you agree with 100% brief. So it really, really starts with locating ourselves and becoming self aware that something has gone on. There was an experience in my life and it is putting a name to it and it is verbalizing it, even if it's to yourself. I'm telling you times that I could just verbalize it out loud. I remember the day when I was able to say, you had trauma, Terri, you had trauma.
That freedom that I felt in that moment to just give myself permission to say that I had trauma is powerful. And then you, you asked about reintegration, like regulation. So, you know, our body is always trying to keep us safe. We were not living in the caveman days anymore, right? But thank God that we do have a nervous system that can warn us of danger. But oftentimes when you've had a traumatic experience, and that's why I say experience and not event. There is an event, but it was really an experience that your body felt.
And so your body emotionally felt this event or series of years of events that have environments that we were in changed, that began to change that physiology in our body. So we're living at this higher grade of sensitivity and it changes the way that we see the world. It Changes the way we, we have relationships with people because it disturbs that trust. Right. Your body goes back to that event, and when nothing's even happening, we're respond. We're reacting to something that's not happening. I don't know if that's ever happened to you. Or you. Maybe you're talking to someone and they just go off the deep end and you're like, where did that come from? You know, this is where we can even see it in the hospital. Like, this is where we can be greater in our profession and say, I'm sorry that that happened to you. It's not about us and about how they're treating us. It's what happened that has created this behavior. I think that's where we, we don't get trained in healthcare to do that. And we missed so much of what has brought them here and how did they get into this life and this behavior. And I think that we can better serve our patients as nurses in healthcare by being able to do that. And I love that we can bring in things that help re regulate them, like just taking a few deep breaths. You know what today, what are your goals? Like, what are your goals today? And celebrating them at the end of the shift. You know what? You wanted to meet that goal today, and we did it. You walked down the hallway and got out of bed and you feel. And we can, we can empower and inspire them. And I, I just love that I get, I get the honor of seeing people come in with, you know, whether it be mental health or addictions, and just being able to offer some grace and love in that moment and really being able to see them receive it. But you can see them even not feel comfortable to receive it. So trauma, also community is important.
We are definitely relational beings, and I could not have had healing in my life had I not had community.
I do think that we have to get to a point in our life of recovery that we get the right community and we learn how to set boundaries so that we know who is the right community. For me, what are my values? What are. What do I. What do I care about? Right.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: To be able to determine that. But yeah, and then you have to have a degree of trust again. When you have trauma, it's really hard to trust people again. And we might often question motives and just put up a little wall and say, I'm not going to allow myself to get hurt again, so I'm not going there. But the way to really develop that healing in your life is to open yourself up to safe relationships. It's not that nobody's ever going to let us down, but we miss out on so many opportunities.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: They're only human.
[00:35:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
And to just be able to let our guard down again and be able to allow people in.
[00:35:35] Speaker A: Yes, I totally agree with you and I thank you for sharing that because I do feel like people are just. Most people are just walking around doing their own thing, doing their own thing, and nobody really looks up and say, hello, how are you? And actually mean it most of the time. Like, there are those of us that are out there, but for the most part, it's like people can just walk around and not speak to each other.
[00:36:04] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:36:04] Speaker A: And I am. I'm a social butterfly for sure. But I always want to know the. I don't want to say the spirit of the people that's in the room with me, but like you said, the temperature. Like, I like to speak to people just to see, hey, where are they at today? Like, mentally, are they even present, you know, and see how they're doing. And usually when I used to do this on the, When I worked at the bedside, you know, if I speak to you and later on I need something, you're more likely to even help me because I actually spoke to you when I came on the unit with you versus I don't speak to you. And then when I need something, it's like, hey, I need you to do this. And you're like, okay. You know, so it's. I don't know, like, how do we get back to that sense of community? And really, like you said, even just going back to the patient, you know, how do we res. Like, you know, honestly connect with them.
[00:36:56] Speaker B: We can allow them, when we can allow them to feel valued and heard, like what, what they're going through actually matters. It can change someone going forward. Like, you know, I, I just. And because of, you know, confidentiality, we can't talk about personal experiences. But I can't. I can just tell you that I have had so many experiences where I just know in my spirit, you have made a difference in this life. And I don't always get to see what happens after that. But you, you just know that something did. And I think it does take us recognizing. And here's another thing, I'm just going to say us, in healthcare, we often. I am a recovering codependent, and so I had to recognize that through my own trauma journey that I was actually fulfilling a need with helping patients in the hospital.
And so, and, and I could get to A very unhealthy way of doing that by overworking and all of that kind of stuff. So I had to recognize my own biases in my care for patients and start recognizing. I felt like it was such a unique opportunity for me to learn more about myself when, when things were coming up and again that come, that comes with a degree of self awareness of, oh, that was not about me, that, that, that was not about them, that was about me, you know, And I think there's a huge opportunity for us. So, so in healthcare, I think just recognizing our own biases when we are treating the patients that come in and need our services and really need us to be present and allow permission for us to take five minutes and sit at the bedside with them for a moment. And I know I am a nurse, I work on busy 12 unit, 12 hour day floors. And I get it, there's sometimes, not always that time, but when you feel it on your spirit to do it, take five seconds or say the thing that you feel that you're being led to say, sit down and have that conversation just for a moment, it doesn't only help the patient, it really helps us as clinicians and it reminds us of why we're there.
[00:39:18] Speaker A: Yeah, that's good, that's good. Now just to go back because you just mentioned that you still do 12 hour shifts. Tell us a little bit about your nursing journey. I know you mentioned travel nursing, but let's go back. What have you done in those 18 years?
[00:39:33] Speaker B: So I, so I started as a new grad on a very, very busy surgical unit. So we were at general surgery floor. So I took care of lots of patients coming in with. We didn't do ortho and we didn't do telemetry. But I mean every other surgery, ent, plastic surgery, we, we took care of those patients. So I really had a great foundation of my clinical nursing skills and assessment with lots of chest tubes and I mean, you name it, epidurals, we did it all. I did that for about 13 years. I was really kind of getting burnt out. And it was really funny because it was in 2019, right before COVID hit. I went into home health and did some hospice and I fell in love with hospice, with end of life care. I love that work. Problem was I was bringing a lot of it home. I was seeing patients not in the hospital, it wasn't an inpatient. So I really was working a lot more hours than I had to learn to put a boundary up because I wasn't getting away from My work.
And then that was. I did home health for about a year and then I went into travel nursing and I loved it there. I worked on a trauma neuro trauma floor, which was very challenging after I'd been a nurse for so many years. I had never done neuro. And man, talk about being challenged.
[00:40:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:40:55] Speaker B: And having to learn. I was like, neuro is its own.
It is just. It's a lot. It was a lot to do and very, very busy.
And then I came home and now I'm on a med surg floor. We do. We do some pcu, but. And you know, with. With the state of our country and our nation right now, we. We do see a lot of detox and substance abuse stuff, so we treat a lot of that. And I do help with our infusion clinic as well.
[00:41:24] Speaker A: Awesome. Yeah, You've been busy, Ms. Terry.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: I have had a busy nursing career in.
[00:41:31] Speaker A: Yes. Now, what about as a nurse coach? Do you do that outside of working as well?
[00:41:40] Speaker B: So I do that. Yes. I do that outside. And a lot of it is through our nonprofit. A lot of the coaching that I do, I do do one on one stuff. But we actually. A portion of everything that I earn goes back to our nonprofit. So we do offer webinars and workshops and things like that. And a trauma community where people are curious about trauma and just want to learn more. We want to welcome into that safe place and we want people to feel safe and heard. You can find us on Facebook and there is a private community and you can ask questions and just. Even if it's just curious curiosity and maybe we're not at a place where we think we have trauma, but maybe just listening, getting curious. Maybe we're wondering if somebody in our family has trauma because there are some signs that when even we're dealing with co workers, we can, we can notice this. You know, for me, I took things personal a lot, but really people are all struggling out there. People are all going through it. And so we can recognize and be able to even show up for that person that might be treating us not so kindly, you know, if it's a coworker that's struggling. For me, I used to get so defensive and I used to take things personal and that was really, really my own stuff. And maybe that person is really going through it themselves, you know, and just being able to say something kind or it's. It's just a really way of being able to interact with people.
I just feel like we live in a culture where we can just make everything so Personal and about us, when it's really not about us. I have to remind myself, terry, you're not that important. You know, it's really not about me. And through those experiences. Experiences. Be aware that maybe this is trying to teach me something. Because I just truly believe every interaction that we have is not a coincidence. It was meant to happen. And whether it be a hard experience, a hard season of life, there is. What is it trying to teach me? And how can I become a better person through it and then also be that example for other people?
[00:43:55] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. I was just recently listening to something on YouTube. The speaker basically explained that in life, we will have challenges and we will have trials and tribulations, and instead of focusing on that challenge or that trial, start to see those same trials and tribulations or challenges that we may face in life as a part of life and not letting it knock us down and really just see it as a part of life and going from there. And I thought that was really, like, eye opening. And I was like, that's good. And he also mentioned, like, stop saying, when you go through a challenge, why me? Why me? And like you said, when something happens, we're not the only person on earth that this thing has happened to, not minimizing whatever that that traumatic event may be. But how do we go from victim to victor? Like, have the victory See, okay, this has happened. And not just, why me? But what can I learn from this experience? How do I grow from this experience? How do I process it and move forward, per se? So I really thank you.
[00:45:10] Speaker B: I've had a personal coach for almost six years. Um, she might even be a little longer than that. But I. He always said, what if this wasn't happening to you, and it was actually happening for you? And I couldn't see that. At the time when I was going through my divorce, I thought, how could this be happening for me?
I just. I just couldn't. I couldn't see it at that time. But looking back, I. It 100% was like, we just don't know what's going on during that experience.
And it's trauma. It could be those past things that have happened to us that. That gives us that perspective that we're not able to see it, because I was that victim where things weren't. Why is this happening to me? It was everybody else's fault. But healing became. When I began to stop being a victim, and I started taking responsibility because I would be a victim. But then I would say, you kind of made some decisions, Terri. That Put you into some of these situations too.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: Okay, that's good. That's good.
I don't even know where I could go from there.
That's good. That is something that I think we have to ask ourselves. What can I take accountability for in the situation?
That's good, that's good. Thank you so much.
Okay, so before we end this episode, I do love the fact that you are a nurse coach, even though you're, you know, your specific focus is on trauma, but just as a nurse coach, because that is something I'm very interested in. What advice do you have for someone who is considering becoming a nurse coach?
[00:47:03] Speaker B: I would first tell you to go Google Nurse Coach Collective and their names are Heather and Peter. And they created the program, both critical care nurses. And they just do a really great job of reminding nurses why we came into the profession. It wasn't for administrators and insurance and all these things. We came in to help care for our patients and help them gain some control for their own well being and really experience healing. You know, it's, it's so hard when you see the ones that come back through. Right. And so it's really an exciting time for nurses right now because I think there's this big shift going on globally as far as people are trying to figure out this spiritual piece within us and really looking. They're really asking a lot of questions. And I just love that nurse nursing right now is on the forefront of that paradigm shift when it comes to healthcare. And we, there are things that we can do right now that I learned in that program. In that program, it taught us about self care, it taught us about mindfulness, taking time to make sure that we, we take care of ourselves so that we are taking good care of our patients and showing up for them the way that they deserve us to show up. And I just think that it's really opened up what it really means to be a nurse and given us such a huge toolbox that we, even if you don't go into your own private business like I wanted, I want to help women with trauma.
There's, there's nurse coaches in there that just do diabetes education and they're, they're helping their patients in that way. But it's really shifted the way I do my entire nursing practice. It is a more holistic and it's asking better questions of your patients and not this problem focused nursing that I had grown up to really, really lead with. There's so many other things going on. And you know, nursing, I think of holistic Care. That is really what we always have wanted to do. And so if your nursing career is feeling out of alignment, I would just, I would go check them out. They offer an amazing program. They, they certify you. There's actually two certifications. You can become a board certified nurse coach and you can sit for the holistic health nursing as well. So there's two different certifications that you can get through the one program.
[00:49:47] Speaker A: That's awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Now with being a nurse coach, and I just want to know with insurance purposes, because you mentioned like educating patients or coaching patients, is that something that insurance companies are open to?
[00:50:02] Speaker B: You know, it's really funny that you ask that because I have noticed some, some agencies are hiring nurse coaches now, like the insurance companies and stuff, because they, because we do, we do want to do education on nutrition and how does nutrition play a role on our, on our physical body and our. And our mental health. Right. I mean, there's so much data right now, and I'm not going to quote anything, but there, if you. There's so much science right now going back to how having a good gut is affecting our mental health, you know, and so good nutrition is, you know, just nurses being able to just educate their patients on simple things like that. Integrating mindfulness or exercise. Just sitting in nature for, you know, sitting out in nature. I don't know about you, but I feel healing just by being out there encouraging things and encouraging relationships. Go have, go have lunch with a girlfriend. Like, invite them over and just have a little brunch and just have. Some people don't realize what laughter will do. When you can laugh for 30 minutes just hysterically to where your stomach hurts, that's like medicine.
[00:51:26] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:51:27] Speaker B: I love that. We don't do.
[00:51:30] Speaker A: It's like, how do we start being more present? Like enjoying the gift of the present. Yeah, like be present in the right now.
[00:51:40] Speaker B: Chanel, when we're worried on the past, we have so much anxiety.
And when we're worried about the future, we're just worried. So really everything is happening right now. So being in the present moment.
[00:51:54] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. Thank you. Now, what final thoughts do you have for our listeners?
[00:52:01] Speaker B: Final thoughts? I would just say that if you are in a season that is challenging, that you're not crazy and that it will, it will end. That the season will come to an end and you will be a better person because of it.
[00:52:19] Speaker A: Oh, that's good. Yes. If you choose to be.
[00:52:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:52:24] Speaker A: As Terri said, you will be a better person because of It.
[00:52:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
And one, one other thing I would add to that is that becoming aware is one thing, but doing the work is a completely other part. And it is not comfortable. It. Some relationships can end because of it and just see your value in it and that you're, you're worth doing. You. We're. We're all worth showing up for ourselves.
[00:52:53] Speaker A: That's good. And even with that, when you say some relationships may end because I think sometimes we're fearful of losing relationships even when it's not. It doesn't hold much quality.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:53:04] Speaker A: In it. I think that we also have to be mindful that conflict is okay. And you have to be okay with being uncomfortable sometime to get to a better outcome or for something to improve. Sometimes we have to address that conflict. And being uncomfortable or in sometimes the relationship end is nothing that you have to say in general like this friendship is just not working. Sometimes people will remove themselves.
[00:53:30] Speaker B: They do.
[00:53:31] Speaker A: As you become more self aware and you start operating differently. So thank you for even mentioning that part. Yeah. But.
[00:53:39] Speaker B: Well, because for me, some of my dysfunction actually served a need for some people.
[00:53:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:53:45] Speaker B: When it's not there, there's no common ground anymore. So you're right. People will walk themselves out.
[00:53:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. When they're not benefiting.
[00:53:54] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:53:55] Speaker A: From your dysfunction. Yeah. That's good.
Now, how can my listeners connect with you, Ms. Terry?
[00:54:05] Speaker B: Well, you can go to wwaken your lioness.com and you'll type that on there.
[00:54:14] Speaker A: I will add it to this.
[00:54:15] Speaker B: So it's WW awaken your lioness dot com. It is our nonprofit page. But we do have a trauma recovery page on there. And we, we post weekly blogs every Tuesday. Some of it will be on nervous system regulation. You can also check on the website for upcoming webinars and workshops that we'll be doing. There's one coming in November and then you can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. I do some live videos on there. On Facebook, we have a private community page that you can come and it's a safe place. There's a few questions that you have to answer to be part of the community because it's got to be safe for everyone that's in there.
And so yeah, that's where we are. You can find us on our nonprofit page. We're doing a lot of this work with also the women going into the prison. And like I said, a lot of our webinars and workshops, some of those that are, that are paid, there's free content. But then there's some that are for a low cost that goes back to our nonprofit. But I, that is awesome. I just feel the value that it brought to my life. I just want to bring that same value. You know, we freely receive, so we freely give. And we, we, we give out information that we know to help others, you know, find a purpose through your pain, just like you said.
[00:55:38] Speaker A: Yes, that is awesome. And I am so glad that you met with me today on this episode of all one Nurse. I, I feel like this episode just took a turn that I wasn't even expecting, but yet I feel like my cup is full.
[00:55:54] Speaker B: Thank you. And I hope my listeners honored to be here.
[00:55:57] Speaker A: Yes, thank you. I just hope my listeners are able to glean from everything that was shared. Like, just listen again. I'm. I'm ready to listen again. And I'm the host. I'm just saying.
And so as we wrap up this episode of All One Nurse for my listeners, of course you can find me Nurse Chanel, Chanel Tompkins on Facebook under the All1Nurse page, Instagram All1Nurse underscore Chanel. And I'm on TikTok as All1Nurse. And so just type in All1Nurse and I should pop up on there. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast as well as rated. I would appreciate five stars and a good review. You know, hopefully you love this episode and some, a lot of my previous episodes. I think we are, if I'm not mistaken, eight episodes in. And so I am just so grateful for everyone who has listened in and tuned in already for all my wonderful guests like Ms. Terry here. And I just want to say thank you all and until next time, bye bye everyone.
